BRB

Sorry for the delay in posts; I'm on a vacation of sorts. I've changed jobs and I'm traveling a lot and I'm not technically employed at this time. More confusing news when I get a chance, but for now, there are over 150 items in my google reader (why must you all play so fast and loose with the share feature, people?!), at least two weeks of Dear Abby/Margo/Prudence, and endless non-internetting projects I'd like to get to. So! As soon as I have a moment and something snarky at the ready, I'll get you an update. In the meantime, go outside. You're looking pale and the weather is really lovely.

A Political Diatribe

I find myself in a very curious position politically of late. As any of you who have been reading lately know, I am a Hillary Clinton supporter.

That said, I have some real concern about what has become of this race and the return to dirty politicking that so many of us were hoping to get away from for once. Many ideas have been called in to question that are acting just as they were intended: divisively. And the contest to choose a Democratic candidate is, I worry, being run through the old Republican machine. AGAIN!

First of all, I like Barack Obama and I loathe that because I support Hillary Clinton I am lumped in with many of the racists who support her--not because they feel she is the best candidate--but because she is the whitest (and/or a woman). Conversely, it is annoying to me that people support Obama simply because he is black (and/or a man).

I am tired of listening to people, upon finding out that I support Hillary, unleash their barrage of racist propaganda, telling me that Obama is unwilling to go near the Bible because he is a Muslim and/or that he is not an American citizen or better still--does not LOOK like an American citizen. I am constantly saying things like: But he's not a Muslim! Of course he can go near the Bible without bursting into flames! and You HAVE to be born an American citizen to be president! And it upsets me that I have to say these things at all because: even if he were a Muslim, so what? Even if he did spontaneously combust near the Bible--what of it? Even if people other than American citizens by birth were eligible to run for president, what's the problem? Clearly, if it's so important that he be X, Y, or Z, the language of the Constitution is going to explicitly exclude those who are not X,Y, and/or Z. And as we know, has had a WEE amount of exclusive interpretation in the past. Voting for white men only, anyone?

Then there are the Hillary haters who say something as terribly well thought out as "but Hillary is a bitch." Really? Thanks for sharing. Is it because she is a woman who has struggled for a position of power and gotten it? Is it because you dislike her haircut? How DOES one fact-back that someone is a bitch and therefore unworthy of the nation's highest office? I mean seriously, why is the argument not "yeah! yo mama!" That's about how highly I regard that particular line of reasoning.

Now! We have the sensationalism of Obama's pastor who--frankly, I don't see as that far off the mark in all respects. I am not saying that I blame "white America" or believe we live in the "US--KKK-A" because I certainly don't. Further, I personally would not damn America ever, but he has a fine point about America's chickens coming home to roost. Nothing justifies violence to anyone--us to them, them to us: it's the same, but nothing outrages Americans like others answering our bullying. Bullies really hate that kind of thing. I know; I've stood up to a lot of bullies and they do not care for it one bit. Sure, Americans typically see our cause as a just one and are therefore very self-righteous about anyone having a problem with it, but what percent of Americans think our cause in Iraq is a righteous one anymore? Something to think about.

It is especially amazing to me that the people who are now so up in arms about Obama's pastor had no problems with Geraldine Ferraro's questionable remarks. And vice versa.

When will the hypocrisy end, people? The irony of all this derisive rhetoric is that it is taking us further from any type of reconciliation than we were before it. People are angry (and I can see why) and the Republicans? They're sitting awfully pretty for a party that has brought us a war, a recession, and so many more goodies!

I urge you, in this election--think carefully and choose with your conscience. Vote with your heart, and not from your hate.

Super News

A lot of you know this already, but as I am bursting with pride, I just have to share. Also, this is in keeping with the fact that some peops who have been punks to me in past (yes, ex-bf gallery, I am looking at you), but who still read by blog (why? go away.) have to keep believing that I only succeed; I only throw out the most coordinated of ninja moves at all times. I do not sleep; I wait! I am Jack Bauer's spiritual heir!

Yeah, so...

I just got a new job! It is an amazing job and a huge promotion from what I do now.

I have to especially say thanks again to all the people who have been supporting me so soundly as I attempted to make this leap.

I'm on the other side now, and so thrilled. Thanks.

Now, back to my crazy ninja moves...

Reader Google Searches Remarked On!: An Occasional Series

God help the French texting outcasts
Yes, mon dieu! Help them. It would be such a pitiable circumstance to be French, a text message-user, and NOT part of the elite group of this sub-subgroup. I hope F-R is doing its part.

NANCY REAGAN KISSING MRT
What?! I had heard that Nancy was on the prowl again, but the idea of her kissing MY MRT is just shiver-inducing.

French Roast highly defensive
I am not!!!

French Easter basket
Packed with chocolat et dinde au marons! (Note to non-speakers: Not that funny; don't bother looking it up, especially since I'm not certain I spelled marons correctly. It's just an Easter dish of France that equates to meat with nuts. Or maybe it's meat and raisins? Hmmm. Admittedly, my memory of the Easter chapter of my 8th grade McGraw-Hill text Rencontres is somewhat foggy, so this is the best I could come up with as a remark for a sort of weird search. Please note also that when I used to listen to vocab tapes for Rencontres in the language lab, it was almost the end of the year before I realized that the native speaker at the beginning of the tape was actually saying "Rencontres" and not either "HAWKONTHE!" or having a violent sneeze.)

What does a 300 pound woman look like?
How should I know?! Are you implying that I am 300 pounds? What's this about being highly defensive? I'm not an alcoholic!

Fuck Blockbuster!
Word. I recommend netflix.

What dose autres mean in French? [sic]
I'm not sure how my site has become some kind of clearinghouse for fools who can't find an internet translator, but since you've come all this way, autres means "others." And for those of you wondering what my site's header "Liberte. Egalite. Des Autres Choses." means, it's a take off on the battle cry of the non-nobility (the victors) from the French Revolution, which was "Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite" (Liberty, Equality, Brotherhood). Since my site is not really about brotherhood and is only occasionally about liberty and equality, I also included "des autres choses" meaning "some other things" as kind of a catch-all. Don't you feel learned?

Clear pictures of completely nacked woman [sic]
For my part, I have to admire a person who, upon searching for pictures of "nacked woman" and getting less than stellar image quality re-searches for *exactly* what he wants. No, no! I need CLEAR pictures and none of this partial nudity! Or shall I say, partially nacked-ness? What's even funnier to me is that with such a clear goal in mind, this same person clicks on my site! Happy hunting!

I have outlived disease.

Yes, you have heard correct. At the ripe old age of 27, I am no longer of interest to infectious disease. Admittedly, my methods of drawing this conclusion are rather crude, but hey, I have returned to the invincibility of my youth and I don't need you bringing me down, invincible young person! (Sidebar to all those of you click on that years-ago post: Thank God some of you have stuck with me to this, my current stage of invincibility. My writing back then was "like, totally vapid!")

So, this is how I came to this conclusion:

-When applying to graduate school (a program almost entirely online, mind you), there was a form to record your shot records, various encounters with disease, etc. that you could be exempt from not on the basis of religious or cultural beliefs, but on the basis of being born in 1980 or earlier. BAM!

-Yesterday, while listening to a report about the prevalence of STDs among adolescents, which is just ridonculously high, the CDC person who was speaking recommends that to curb this spread, especially of HPV (a strain of which is inconclusively linked to cervical cancer*), all women ages 11-26 should receive the HPV innoculation. Did you catch that? Only up to age 26. BAM!

*Look, I have my own theories about this vaccination, but they are irrelevant to my perceived invincibility, except in as much as both theories occasionally diverge from science.

When discussing this with husby last night, I suggested the obvious rationale is that babies born before 1981 are somehow magical, possibly due to preceding Reagan-omics and the era of feel-good Republicanism.

Husby disagrees and thinks that "scientists" are merely suggesting that if you have lived to 27, you've probably dodged enough diseased bullets in your life that you're not going down easily and even if you do, it won't be like a *young* life was suddenly snuffed out, especially since by the time we're 34 we're of no use to advertisers anyway.

My reasons for not appreciating his theory mostly revolve around it not granting me any kind of magical power, especially in the consumer sector. But I do like science, so with that in mind, I am offering my readers this highly scientific poll (see the sidebar--I'd like to embed it in this post, but blogger is not cooperating: bah!) to gauge why I am now invincible/immune to all disease in the eyes of science.

Vote carefully. You decide 2008!!!

Grown Folks Party

Matt, as of Friday, is on spring break and between us, we decided that nothing says spring quite like tent-camping in brutally cold weather at a nearby state park. Yes, it's true. Whereas you, sensible person, probably spent the evenings of Friday and Saturday indoors with netflix and keeping your piggies warm by the fire, the MRTs were on an outdoor adventure!

But sensible person, I bet you did not have as much fun as us!

Friday evening, I uncharacteristically threw caution to the arctic wind when I green-lighted our pre-planned, but weather-pending, camping trip to Caddo Lake, cackling "how cold could it be?"

Damn cold, is the answer. And by the time we had stopped for gas and groceries and told by several on-lookers, skeptically eye-ing our kayaks that we were "plum out of [our] minds", I was convinced that by not being nervous about having nothing between me and nature except for a thin layer of neoprene (and admittedly, multiple down comforters), I had perhaps truly lost my mind. But I hadn't!

Nearing the state park about 8 p.m., we happened past a full-on redneck party occurring at a kind-of lean-to building with a light-up marquee on which the words "Grown Folks Party" had been hastily assembled. We knew this was an omen. This was going to be an awesome weekend.

And it was. Today, I am a little sleepy, but I can't imagine a better breath of fresh air than being bundled up in the great outdoors with my true love, my puppy dog, some good books, and the most amazing coffee (campfire-made!) that I have ever had. So here's to life's wonderful surprises. And happy spring!

P.S. On a less cheery note, who authorized moving daylight savings time up so early? Not appreciated.

I Hope the Answer is 17

After hearing all this talk of Patrick Swayze's fatal prognosis the past few days, I decided to fire up the old google and see if it was actually true.

It sort of is according to this web site, on which his doctor confirms he does have pancreatic cancer (basically always fatal), but this whole five weeks to live business is...well, just fatalistic.

So I was feeling relieved about this news, sort of. I like Patrick Swayze a whole bunch, ever since he first "ga-gunged" his way into our hearts and cultural lexicon with his "hungry eyes" and pro-choice views in Dirty Dancing.

Finding myself looking for some deeper meaning in all this, I headed toward the comments where I became so sidetracked by the following comment, that I decided to write a blog only tangentially related to the ailing actor who inspired it.

Don''t you think it's kind of Ironic that Patrick Swayze in the Blood Brothers episode of MASH played a soldier in the Koren War dying of Leukemia and now these many years later he is diagnosed for real with Cancer.

If you believe in irony, this would be it. {SIC], naturally.

Actually, maybe this blog will be more about Patrick Swayze than this comment after all because when I begin to formulate the problems with this comment, I am a bit speechless. Where to begin? The "belief" in irony, as though it were a poisoned fairy that needed enthusiastic hand-clapping to revive it? The fact that it is not at all ironic that a person who was an actor in what was essentially a MEDICAL war-time show played a person with a disease and is now, like thirty years after that show ended, on the verge of dying of some similar (in that they're both cancer), but ultimately *other* disease?

Yes, it will be just unbearably ironic when all of the actors who have ever played doctors on tv have to actually GO to the doctor for treatment! Ho! Ho! I can't stand the irony...or I wouldn't be able to stand it if I believed in it, that is.

Little refresher course here on irony (if you're of the "believer" camp, I mean): tension created when there is contrast between what is supposed to happen and what actually does or what is meant and what it said.

To all of you at home, that means that if Patrick Swayze had suffered from the same disease in MASH as he is currently suffering from (but he isn't), that would be more like soothsaying than irony.

A man who always bikes to work because he fears car wrecks, but then is hit by a car while biking: that's irony. Identical twins living in the same city and never meeting, but always just missing one another: that's irony, too. (Note: This example is in no small part inspired by the book I am reading right now: Identical Strangers. My haughtiness, however, has no traceable source.)

But since we're all realists who know that irony only exists in Neverland anyway, we can all just return to our lives--a little sadder for Patrick, of course, but at least irony-free.

I'm sorry, did I go too far? I don't care.

P.S. "I Hope the Answer is 17" is mostly just for Jo, who knows that this is a reference to another Swayze classic Point Break and the happy times we had while seeing it made fun of so ferociously by the comedy group now known as Master Pancake Theatre. It might also be construed as an "ironic" title because it is not actually to do with Patrick Swayze, except tangentially, in the way this post is only tangentially about Patrick Swayze. Actually, I might have to review my own definition to find out if that would actually be ironic.

Passing Thoughts: No. 3 in an Occasional Series

Is there anything more annoying than toilet paper in a public restroom that is distributed one rough square at a time?

Grr!

Raucous Caucus

After enjoying a glorious run of blogging in February, I regret that my posting frequency has slacked off a bit of late. That's a bit of a lie, actually. I've just been neglecting you, dear F-R reader. How heartless of me! I blog almost every day, but I have about 11ty blogs. I'd give you the address, but that might mean you could read them and I can't let that happen. Ironically, I'm a rather private person--except when it comes to my politics.

Yesterday, I really did mean to urge everyone to get out the vote, especially for Texans who, for the first time in decades, were going to have something to caucus about. (Not like any of us knew we even HAD a caucus system until the last couple of weeks.) Until I learned that caucusing was a grand Texas tradition of "two-stepping" the vote, I always thought gathering to make speeches and pass resolutions/ideas/fellowship was a rather bizarre way to go about politics. For me, it seemed like if you wanted to get some politics happening, you could either stand in a little private booth or in a smoke-filled room. But a fire station full up with your friends and neighbors?

Yes! The fire station is the place to be for politicking and I rather enjoyed the discussion, the aye-ing and naying of it all. I even got to be a county-level delegate from my caucus! MRT is one, too. And I also don't want to give up primary voting, so as a true Texan, I wholeheartedly embrace this prima-caucusing. It's rad! I nay-ed the resolution that attempted to abolish it. Also, the polling place Republicans fairly ran out the doors before we could so much as sign in. What fun!

But actually, when I say friends and neighbors, I should clarify. (Spoiler alert: I'm about to be a bizard.) By friends and neighbors, I really just mean neighbors because while I enjoyed the company of these fine folks, those with whom I pass the majority of my time don't typically ask as many asinine questions as some of those "friends" and neighbors did. But hey--they think democracy is important and that being involved and having a voice is important--and I salute that, especially the ones who were with me in the Hillary Clinton section. :)

Just for any readers confused at home though, may I quickly point out that Ohio and Iowa are different states? Yes, yes. I know they're both kind of in the middle there and maybe they have equally gray winter weather, but I assure you all in our home audience that they are different states and only one of them held a primary yesterday (hint: not Iowa).

To further clarify, I think some Ohio-ans describe their state as "hi" in the middle and round on both sides. (Get it? It's a good one for parties.) I think people from Iowa might describe their state as...ah, who cares? That's right, neighbors: there are really only two states anyway "Texas" and "Other."

And as for Texas, well, it's Hillary country...at least by a 3% margin it is. Yee-haw!

Full Service

Normally, for my showy occasional series "Reader Google Searches Remarked On!"I just stick to the requests I get through referral searches since they make sense to me and so rarely do I get actual requests (hence the name change from "Reader Questions Answered!"). But today, all that changed when an entitled commenter happened by a two-years-old post.

Excuse me, I'm a Chinese University Student and I'm taking an English class now. I have been looking for the poem "Liberte" by Ralph Waldo Emerson(English Version) for a long time and Google Search show it on you blog. Would you please send me the poem to my Email-box?

I felt like that hidden track on Barenaked Ladies "Rock Spectacle" album. You know the one--where the crankly old lady asks the band members where the Bryant Street Theater is. They respond that they don't know because they're from out of town and she exclaims "Well for Chrissake!" Then they feel guilty like they should have had a map or something.

Yeah--how I feel is a lot like that--and as this is such an unusual situation, I'm left rather nonplussed and wondering if I should go to some great length to fulfill the needs of this reader.

Then again, excuse ME, but the internet isn't just some great request machine and I am not the genie who would run such a one. this analogy is all wrong. The internet IS a great request machine, but I have not the talents of a genie.

Oh Bartleby, where art thou?