Liberté. Égalité. Des Autres Choses.

I think we can all agree that what we don't need more of in this life are passwords. If you're like me, you have a special set of master passwords for any occasion. Maybe one you use all the time that has at least six characters, and another more complicated one that involves a number or two, but once you bust out of your standard bag of tricks for a web site you rarely visit, it's all over.

Yesterday, I was trying to order some stamps from usps.com for work and I tried all my standard passwords. Nothing. Then I figured out how to re-set my password and once I did so, my NEW password had to be at least eight characters, with at least two numbers, two capital letters, and two lowercase letters.

WHAT? Why not add in things like "at least three letters have to be the name of your third grade teacher," "include the unofficial name of your 2002 halloween costume in part." Seriously, why is this necessary? I'm purchasing some stamps here people, not some top secret nuclear weaponry.

So I finally picked a password that the site accepted and that I will promptly forget, only to be told "Sorry, the site is not working correctly now. Please come back later." And this brings up another point about inappropriate password restrictions: I am going to forget these highly unique combinations I have been forced to step out of my password comfort zone to create and will either 1) just have to re-create another one when I come back by re-calling my mother's maiden name (why can't that just be my password?) or 2)write them down. How secure is my transaction within your site when I have posted my password above my computer?

Self-defeating technology, much? It's amazing to me that certain technologies are developed without the perspective that they are obviously NOT the only web site or e-commerce program that people use every day or that people who good at their jobs don't typically have time to remember such tedious b.s. like a password with bizarre restrictions. (For the record, I am actually usually extraordinary at remembering tedious b.s. I should put it on my resume, but then it might be indicative of how good I have been at my jobs. Eep.)

Speaking of jobs I was not very good at: when I worked at a certain muckraking periodical that shall remain nameless, our voicemail required us to pick a password that was six digits, and had to be changed every six weeks or you'd get locked out of the voicemail system. After using the birthdays of everyone I could remember without the prompting of social networking sites, I began just making something up and then writing it on a post-it stuck to my phone. Highly secure. Fortunately for me, most of my messages were from emo hipsters trying to get coverage of their experimental art or asymmetrical clam bakes, so not exactly top secret clearance. In fact, if someone had pirated my messages, it would have been a great relief to me. One less pothead to call back.

And maybe that's how I should look at this whole password situation. If I can't remember the password for a web site, that's one less pothead I have to call back. Except potheads don't usually distribute postage stamps and I do need those from time to time. Oh well.